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MENTORING & HYPNOTHERAPY SESSIONS WITH David Lomman

Grief is something you never truly recover from. Don’t get me wrong, there is healing from grief and loss. You will recover from the intense pain; you will learn to move forward. You will not be forced to live in anguish for the rest of your days.

However, grief is more than just pain. Over time, your grief will evolve into something new. It’s important that you hold space for those emotions and experiences because some of them might just be more beautiful than you can imagine. What was once a painful day of memory can evolve into warmth and celebration.

The idea of not recovering from grief sounds terrifying, but millions of people are going through their normal day, living a purposeful life while still living with an ongoing sense of grief. All of the things we hear people discuss getting over grief… it’s all about getting life back to normal and just moving on. That’s a misrepresentation of grief. That’s a misrepresentation of loss. While humans always seek closure and enjoy resolution, that’s not how grief operates.

That doesn’t mean recovery doesn’t belong in the grief process, it’s just that we need to redefine what we believe it is we’re recovering from.

What Recovery Means

Recovery means that you are returning to your normal state of strength, health, and mind. If the loss you are going through is the death of a significant person, then you will never return to the normal you lived pre-loss. That loss will integrate itself into your normal daily life and change how you live and profoundly influence how you experience the world. However, your emotions, distress, and stress can be recovered, you will return these to your general baseline.

That’s the difference between recovering from grief and recovering from intense pain.

You could accuse me of semantics, however, the truth of the matter is when you lose a person you don’t want to let them go. You don’t have to let them go, but you can move on while keeping space open for them. Now, if your loss is a breakup, you can bounce back from that. If your loss is related to something else, you can probably bounce back from that, too. The words you use to describe or label your grief – they matter. Unfortunately, those words often get us in trouble because we all interpret them differently. That’s when things tend to go awry.

Grief will remain with you as long as your loss is significant.

Perhaps that’s the best way to sum it up, no matter your loss. If your grief is related to the loss of a job, you will likely feel that grief until you find another job. If your grief is related to a breakup, then you will feel that until you recognize you’re better off or happen to find someone new. Death is different.

Ongoing grief is not dysfunctional, it’s normal.

It’s also normal to experience unpleasant thoughts and emotions related to that grief. You have to allow yourself space to process those types of emotions. We are going to find joy and sadness in life, death is no different. You can have a fond memory that brings you joy, but through grief-tinted glasses, there will be yearning, pain, and sadness. You can experience all of those emotions related to a single event.

What’s important is you understand you don’t have to push the pain away, sometimes you have to allow yourself to experience it. That doesn’t mean you’re negating the healing process.

Think of grief like an old knee injury that starts to ache when the weather turns cold and the rain comes. It’s a scary thought, but grief and loss are an expression of love. It’s part of who we are, how we love and connect, and it bonds us to humanity.

In 2019, 2020, and in 2021 Coronavirus continues to take loved ones away.
grief and Loss have affected thousands of people in all countries.

Emotions Felt After Loss

There are certain emotions you can expect to experience after a loss.

• Yearning

• Sadness

• Bitterness or resentfulness

• Anger and disgust

• Fear, whether it’s generalized anxiety or a specific fear

• Denial, disbelief, or shock

• Emptiness

• Loneliness

• A loss of hope

• A loss of purpose

• Despair

• Guilt or shame

• Agitation

• Disorientation

• Feeling lost

Free workbook available after booking.

“You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” — Unknown

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